Life is Full of Surprise - Part 1

We always know that time flies, especially when unexpected thing happened in our lives.

In January, I think I had my life in fast forward. Life is fragile, yet it is beautiful with its ups and downs. In two weeks time, I discovered that I had a lump on my left breast, had my first mammography, and went to a cardiologist and being cut open to remove the lump.

This post might be a bit blunt, but sharing about my personal experience hopefully will help some people who are in the same situation.

Friday, January 2^nd, 2015

I was really tired after work on New Year. So that evening I decided to pamper myself at a spa nearby. I had a scrub and massage service then. During the scrubbing process, the masseuse (a.k.a mbak lulur) said to me that she found something irregular on the top of my left breast.  She said that there are a lump on my breast (you know how the masseuse worked, trying to remove every dirt from your skin). Then I touched the lump by myself. ‘Holy crap’, I told myself.  I never checked myself thoroughly like this before. The masseuse said that I should go and check it to the doctor, because we, as women, we never know on what could’ve changed in our body with the hormones and all that stuff.  It could’ve been because I was going to have my period, but I know this is different and my head started to think about all the possibilities on what could’ve gone wrong. I couldn’t even bath or sleep properly since I realized that there’s a lump on my left breast. That’s the thing about your brain. Once it started to get into your head, you need to hypnotize yourself that everything will be fine.

When I went home, I told my mum about the lump and we decided not to discuss about it further more that time, because it was already late - which we all know that it means that we will not have a good night sleep until we surely know on what that lump is.

Saturday, January 3^rd, 2015

At this time my mum and I was also on our second out of three cervical cancer vaccine shots from a doctor. So that morning my dad drove us to get the shots. My dad was curiously asked whether there’s a chance of side effect from the vaccine shots to my body. The doctor said that the vaccine is completely safe. Then when we asked about the doctor’s opinion regarding the lump on breast. He said that we need to test it to make sure if the lump is cancerous or not. And he said in a very casual way. As if it was not a big deal – errr... Then he added about a story on his younger year about a young nurse who was still single and had a breast cancer and she had to remove some parts of her breast. Doc, errr…  You didn’t give me any enlightenment either.

Then I remembered one of my friends had similar case few years ago. She had a lump on her breast and had it removed. Then I started to ask about things to her - the symptoms and the doctors she went to, plus the procedure that she been through.  At that time I was almost sure that what I had isn’t cancerous, but then, I am not a doctor. Even google said: you should go and see the doctor. Do not let Google decide it for you.

Monday, January 5^th, 2015

That morning I decided to go to a General Practitioner whom my friend went to for her first examination. This is the first time I met this doctor. The doctor is quite famous if you are lived in Kelapa Gading (hoho). Then when I met her, she asked about my concern. I told her about the lump and how I (oh, I mean mbak2 tukang lulur) just realized it was there. Then she asked me to lie down on the examination bed, took of my shirts and bra, and she started to examine both of my breast manually (using hands). When it comes to my left breast, she examined it more thoroughly and tried to ‘move’ the lump and to make sure that moves around easily. The Doctor said that my lump is quite big, it is around 4cm and she suggested me to take and ultrasound test at the hospital. She said not to be worry because most probably the lump is not serious, and she also recommended a doctor in Singapore.

So I had my first USG test at Gading Pluit Hospital. During the test, the doctor explains regarding the ultra sound procedure. I always thought that USG is always related to pregnancy, never thought that I had it first for my breast examination. Life is full of surprise!  So from the USG screening we can see that the lump was there on my upper left breast, and yeah, my feeling is a hundred and eight degrees the opposite of a mom seeing her baby on the USG test for the first time. It was tears of sadness instead of joy, and the horror becomes real, seeing that lump, there, staring back at me. *horror music plays*  Same as manual examination from the General Practitioner, the doctor who did my test said that I need to see a specialist or surgeon to make sure about my lump.

We asked some people regarding the best doctor and specialist for this matter, and with certain considerations, we (me and my parents) decided to have a consultation and perform the surgery (if needed) in Singapore.

To be continue in part 2 *click here* :)